She’s got the look

Have you ever walked down the street or a market, encountered a complete stranger, shared a single look of complete comprehension, smiled and walked ahead…probably never thinking of that person again?

I have. And even though life goes on the same way after that, it feels good to have shared that one look which said: “I see you”. (I honestly typed this before the dialogue from Avatar came to mind!!! :-) )

It happened today when I was crossing my local market and this woman was getting mehendi done on her hands. I loooove mehendi, so I was trying to a peek at the design, when she looked up. It was just a fraction of a second, but we connected. I looked into her eyes, both of us smiled in acknowledgment of our mutual love for henna. We were happy for her. I didn’t know her, but I was happy for her… the fact that she was getting mehendi done… the fact that even though she had soooo much of work to do while taking care of her house and family, and the only time she got free to get this done was in the middle of the afternoon, under the relentless sun… we were both happy that she was getting something that she likes.

I walked away. I didn’t look back. I am not wondering what kind of a life she has. I am just happy that she’s happy to be getting henna on her hands. And I know she knew it too.

The reason I felt compelled to write about this is because just after coming home, I read the news of a bunch of guys stoning a harmless truck driver to death just because he could/would not give them a pass on the road at night. That’s also a connection between two strangers. One of them isn’t alive to think about what happened between them… the others, well, one can only hope that they regret what they did. (It’s sad how I’m becoming numb to such atrocities. I sigh, comment how uncivilized civilizations are becoming, and soon forget. That’s unfair!)

We make so many connections in our lifetime. Some stay, some are just as brief as a single look. But it’s bizarre how even the briefest of connections can turn out to be so life altering. Or even that sense of being acknowledged or being “seen” by some random stranger gives your spirits a renewed boost…a reassurance that you’re not alone.

On a lighter note, there can be many such shared looks between strangers that are not as serious too. The look guys exchange when one of them has scored with a hot chick at a party. Then there’s the exasperated look women share if some guy is acting obnoxiously (and all of them may be strangers!). The assessing look between a guy and girl (this leads to a whole different story, but we’re not getting into that right now ;-))

Hmmm… can’t think of any more, but I’m sure there are several in the list. Anyone wants to give me a hand? The comments section on the blog is all yours…. :-) )

(And yes, I know the last line is a plug for you readers to comment… so save me the teasing :-P)

Mean Mom

(I'm not one for putting forwards or mass mails on my blog. But this was forwarded to me by my editor and it really moved me. So figured I wanted to keep it for posterity and share it too. Hope you relate to it as much as I have.)

(Something's finally original! My photo :-))

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that
motivates a parent,
I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me:

I loved you enough to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time
you would be home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best
friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your
room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my
eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect and have their
own human weaknesses.

I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions
even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough to say NO when I knew you would hate
me for it.

Those were the most difficult battles of all.

I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too. And someday when
your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates
parents, you will tell them.

Was your Mom mean?

I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other
kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.

When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches.

When all the other kids were allowed to stay out late, we had a 1 o'clock
curfew.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were
convicts in a prison!
She had to know who our friends were and what we were doing with them.
She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be
gone for an hour or less.
We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to ask us to take a bus
when all the other kids had chauffeur driven cars.
She always insisted that we tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing
but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds and
had eyes in the back of her head. Life was really tough!

Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up.
They had to come up to the door so she could meet them.

Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids
experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing
other's property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are
doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.
I think that is what's wrong with the world today. It just doesn't have
enough mean moms!

(PS -- I think this applies to fathers too... no? :-))