it's really odd how all of a sudden i'm enjoying all the girlie stuff like shopping and trying to make myself look good...that is...at least to the best of my abilities. it's like, all the years that i spent trying 'not to be a girl' have gone into a huge waste. i mean seriosly, i spent around 10 years of my life trying to convince myself and the world around me to believe that i'm really a boy, who was put into a woman's mould by mistake or because of some stupid reason.
i even had a story to go along with it. the story was: God was making a boy, when his wife bellowed to him to come and have his lunch. she did such a good job of it, and God was so excessively pleased with her culinary skills, that when he got back to work, he completely forgot that he was making a boy, considering that he hadn't given final shape to the outer layer, he decided at that moment to make a woman...and dedicate this piece of work to his wife. and so....I was made, moulded, conjuctured, created...call it what you will.
come to think of it, it's probably for the best....coz in that case i would've turned out to be gay (since i am attracted to the male species), and that would've made matters worse. not to mention the fact that my father would've probably sent me to some mental institution for being gay. HE considers it to be an abnormal state of mind rather than a hormonal oreintation that a homo sapien is born with.
but the question now arises, why did i ever want to be a boy in the first place? i mean face it...being a boy doesn't really have a lot of perks....sure...you're given more freedom, you can get away with having sex without thinking too much about the consequences(AIDS apart), don't have to be too bothered about the way you look (the grungy look with stubbles, unkept hair and the whole i don't care a damn abt how i look persona is quite hot with the ladies these days), you can party around and your parents allow you to coz ''you're a boy"....but then on the other hand....being a girl means that you're not expected to be the sole earner and source of money in the family...thereby allowing you to do pretty much whatever u want as far as the acedemics and your job is concerned, if you don't want to do anything...being a girl gives you the right to pretty much live off someone else's money...first your dad and then your hubby (save me.....the women's lib org is out to get me...help!!! *grin grin*), you have a vast choice of apparel...from menswear to exclusive women's wear....there's a no-hold-barred situation..........hmmmm.............unn..........aaaaaaaaa........hmmmmmmm.....well okay..probably being a guy does score many points........then why am i trying to un-learn all the stuff and trying to get in touch with my feminine side???
I must be mad.....there can be no other explanation....
Sunday, September 5, 2004
Sunday, May 9, 2004
Million Dollar moments of my life
1. Once when i was around 4 or 5 years old, and my parents were performing on stage...i went around telling anyone and everyone in the audience that my mother and my father are on stage - performing. Irrespective of whether i knew them or not.
2. In third grade, after absconding for three days, i returned to school, whence i had the following conversation with my class teacher.
Teacher: Why didn't you come to school?
Me: I was ill...
Teacher: What happened?
Me: .....I had Cancer...
Teacher: (with complete composure) Are alright now?
Me: ...Yes ma'am.
And life continued the same as usual. I never realized my faux pas till at least 5 years later.
3. Once alone at home, two gentlemen arrived at the gate, claiming that they knew my dad. I had no clue as to whether or not they were saying the truth or not, but the most hospitable person that existed on the face of the planet that i am....i let let them in. Served them water and biscuits, and was in the process of taking out some more delicacies from the topmost shelf of the kitchen (and i was somewhere around 4 ft at the time) when my parents came home.
I am now proud to say that my judgment of character held out to be completely correct, as they did in fact turn out to be my father's friends (albeit he took some time to recognize them...but he came around later)
4. Once I got lost in a mall, and this was when i was 3 years old. Having no clue about what to do, or where to look for my parents, i went to to main gate of the mall, and struck a pose with all the mannequins that were positioned there...hoping that no one other than my parents would be able to make out that i was a member of the homo sepian clan and not a plastic doll.
Thereby, having started my sporadic modelling career at the tender age of 3.
5. My teacher once called me from school, and she was sounding extremely groggy. Now it's important to mention that this was a teacher of whom i was terrified. I, like the brilliant person that i am, didn't even give my next words a second thought and bravely asked her, "Have you JUST gotten up from bed...it's so late?" Now SHE very politely informed me that she was already in school. But standing firm on my ground (I must be given extra points for being resolute and determined in my task) very condescendingly asked her, "Really...what time did you get up?"
Now this was the time that I realized what i had done, but considering that there was no turning back, i received her answer of "6:30am" very politely....but later tried to justify my actions by informing her that i actually thought that she was my friend and not my teacher. I don't think she believed me, thus explaining the very poor showing of my internal assessment marks that semester.
6. In another encounter with the Teacher's kind, i slept off in Math class in the sixth grade. Please note that this teacher was extremely stern, to put it euphemistically. Now, as if this wasn't enough, i got up with a start and then had the temerity to ask her to repeat whatever she had taught just then, because i didn't understand.
Needless to say, i was taught the rest of the lesson in my Vice-principal's room.
7. I have been always taught to be respectful to my elders, and think of my teachers only as second to my mom. I am proud to say that i once stuck my tongue out at my chemistry IIT tutor, in the class 12th coaching classes.
8. I once spent almost an entire day wearing my shirt inside-out. I was college.....the rest is history!
9. I once mailed my college classmate's ex-girlfriend, whom i did not know at all, asking her...."why did he shout at you on phone, one and a half years back?" I even had an online chat with her on the subject, and spent half an hour trying to convince her why she should answer my question. Of course, she thought i was a freak, and refused to answer my question.
What really puzzles me though, is why am i still on her messenger list???
10. My classmate's boyfriend (currently ex-boyfriend) once called me up at 12 at night....threatening me, and telling me that he will make sure that my life is made a living hell. And a couple of other things. Now this person is extremely scary to look at, not to mention that i ought to have taken the threats seriously......what I did was: laughed and banged the phone down.
This is one experience that i wouldn't trade for the world.
11. My 5 Seconds of fame: My Television debut...and that too on national television: Sleeping restlessly with a snoring husband, and playing the part of a disgruntled wife.
12. I managed to set off the office fire alarm, not once, but twice, on a single day. How? you ask. Well, very simple actually, I was making popcorn in the microwave. The packet said up to 1-2 mins, and I dutifully set the timer for 2 mins exact, coz who wants the seeds right? Turns out, it was 30 seconds too much. Office smoke detectors certainly do not appreciate burnt and blackened butter popcorn! Nor do they like that the employees should have have such food, because once the guard had switched off the alarm, I opened the popcorn bag in order to salvage whatever little of the popcorn that was left, only to have the fire alarm blaring again. The guard gave up and promptly "ordered" me to dump the bag.
13. I mentioned an idea for a brilliant story on funny Indian road signs to a person at a party, only to find out a couple of moments later that he had authored a book on the same topic the same year... and "we" had even reviewed it!
2. In third grade, after absconding for three days, i returned to school, whence i had the following conversation with my class teacher.
Teacher: Why didn't you come to school?
Me: I was ill...
Teacher: What happened?
Me: .....I had Cancer...
Teacher: (with complete composure) Are alright now?
Me: ...Yes ma'am.
And life continued the same as usual. I never realized my faux pas till at least 5 years later.
3. Once alone at home, two gentlemen arrived at the gate, claiming that they knew my dad. I had no clue as to whether or not they were saying the truth or not, but the most hospitable person that existed on the face of the planet that i am....i let let them in. Served them water and biscuits, and was in the process of taking out some more delicacies from the topmost shelf of the kitchen (and i was somewhere around 4 ft at the time) when my parents came home.
I am now proud to say that my judgment of character held out to be completely correct, as they did in fact turn out to be my father's friends (albeit he took some time to recognize them...but he came around later)
4. Once I got lost in a mall, and this was when i was 3 years old. Having no clue about what to do, or where to look for my parents, i went to to main gate of the mall, and struck a pose with all the mannequins that were positioned there...hoping that no one other than my parents would be able to make out that i was a member of the homo sepian clan and not a plastic doll.
Thereby, having started my sporadic modelling career at the tender age of 3.
5. My teacher once called me from school, and she was sounding extremely groggy. Now it's important to mention that this was a teacher of whom i was terrified. I, like the brilliant person that i am, didn't even give my next words a second thought and bravely asked her, "Have you JUST gotten up from bed...it's so late?" Now SHE very politely informed me that she was already in school. But standing firm on my ground (I must be given extra points for being resolute and determined in my task) very condescendingly asked her, "Really...what time did you get up?"
Now this was the time that I realized what i had done, but considering that there was no turning back, i received her answer of "6:30am" very politely....but later tried to justify my actions by informing her that i actually thought that she was my friend and not my teacher. I don't think she believed me, thus explaining the very poor showing of my internal assessment marks that semester.
6. In another encounter with the Teacher's kind, i slept off in Math class in the sixth grade. Please note that this teacher was extremely stern, to put it euphemistically. Now, as if this wasn't enough, i got up with a start and then had the temerity to ask her to repeat whatever she had taught just then, because i didn't understand.
Needless to say, i was taught the rest of the lesson in my Vice-principal's room.
7. I have been always taught to be respectful to my elders, and think of my teachers only as second to my mom. I am proud to say that i once stuck my tongue out at my chemistry IIT tutor, in the class 12th coaching classes.
8. I once spent almost an entire day wearing my shirt inside-out. I was college.....the rest is history!
9. I once mailed my college classmate's ex-girlfriend, whom i did not know at all, asking her...."why did he shout at you on phone, one and a half years back?" I even had an online chat with her on the subject, and spent half an hour trying to convince her why she should answer my question. Of course, she thought i was a freak, and refused to answer my question.
What really puzzles me though, is why am i still on her messenger list???
10. My classmate's boyfriend (currently ex-boyfriend) once called me up at 12 at night....threatening me, and telling me that he will make sure that my life is made a living hell. And a couple of other things. Now this person is extremely scary to look at, not to mention that i ought to have taken the threats seriously......what I did was: laughed and banged the phone down.
This is one experience that i wouldn't trade for the world.
11. My 5 Seconds of fame: My Television debut...and that too on national television: Sleeping restlessly with a snoring husband, and playing the part of a disgruntled wife.
12. I managed to set off the office fire alarm, not once, but twice, on a single day. How? you ask. Well, very simple actually, I was making popcorn in the microwave. The packet said up to 1-2 mins, and I dutifully set the timer for 2 mins exact, coz who wants the seeds right? Turns out, it was 30 seconds too much. Office smoke detectors certainly do not appreciate burnt and blackened butter popcorn! Nor do they like that the employees should have have such food, because once the guard had switched off the alarm, I opened the popcorn bag in order to salvage whatever little of the popcorn that was left, only to have the fire alarm blaring again. The guard gave up and promptly "ordered" me to dump the bag.
13. I mentioned an idea for a brilliant story on funny Indian road signs to a person at a party, only to find out a couple of moments later that he had authored a book on the same topic the same year... and "we" had even reviewed it!
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