Sunday, September 5, 2004

Futile Pursuit !!!

it's really odd how all of a sudden i'm enjoying all the girlie stuff like shopping and trying to make myself look good...that least to the best of my abilities. it's like, all the years that i spent trying 'not to be a girl' have gone into a huge waste. i mean seriosly, i spent around 10 years of my life trying to convince myself and the world around me to believe that i'm really a boy, who was put into a woman's mould by mistake or because of some stupid reason.
i even had a story to go along with it. the story was: God was making a boy, when his wife bellowed to him to come and have his lunch. she did such a good job of it, and God was so excessively pleased with her culinary skills, that when he got back to work, he completely forgot that he was making a boy, considering that he hadn't given final shape to the outer layer, he decided at that moment to make a woman...and dedicate this piece of work to his wife. and so....I was made, moulded, conjuctured, it what you will.
come to think of it, it's probably for the best....coz in that case i would've turned out to be gay (since i am attracted to the male species), and that would've made matters worse. not to mention the fact that my father would've probably sent me to some mental institution for being gay. HE considers it to be an abnormal state of mind rather than a hormonal oreintation that a homo sapien is born with.
but the question now arises, why did i ever want to be a boy in the first place? i mean face it...being a boy doesn't really have a lot of're given more freedom, you can get away with having sex without thinking too much about the consequences(AIDS apart), don't have to be too bothered about the way you look (the grungy look with stubbles, unkept hair and the whole i don't care a damn abt how i look persona is quite hot with the ladies these days), you can party around and your parents allow you to coz ''you're a boy"....but then on the other hand....being a girl means that you're not expected to be the sole earner and source of money in the family...thereby allowing you to do pretty much whatever u want as far as the acedemics and your job is concerned, if you don't want to do anything...being a girl gives you the right to pretty much live off someone else's money...first your dad and then your hubby (save me.....the women's lib org is out to get!!! *grin grin*), you have a vast choice of apparel...from menswear to exclusive women's wear....there's a no-hold-barred situation..........hmmmm.............unn..........aaaaaaaaa........hmmmmmmm.....well okay..probably being a guy does score many points........then why am i trying to un-learn all the stuff and trying to get in touch with my feminine side???
I must be mad.....there can be no other explanation....


  1. you've said everything, haven't you? :) insanity, according to me, is a component of creativity, your writing is way too good, and the best of it can come only from a stroke of madness. i have it in me, so take my word for it. after all, we're librans. keep writing! and don't give up. writing, in all its entirety is about staying rooted, sometimes you swing, sometimes you burst out like a tube-light, but the world needs light, doesn't it? we need more writers like you, so smile, and keep writing, and writing more! you are a brilliant writer!

  2. Hey you are an interesting creature on the planet earth... ha ha ha